9. How has mental illness impacted my life?

A solitary photo of a young woman sitting on a high chair

I battled mental illness without realizing it. Before I received a medical diagnosis in the middle of my university degree, I couldn’t explain why my math and language skills suffered. I lacked clarity of thought and couldn’t speak or write coherently.

In high school, I made small mistakes in math and English. I couldn’t concentrate during math tests and therefore wrote the wrong calculations. Sometimes, I missed numbers in constants which gave the wrong answer during tests. In English, essays and oral presentations paralyzed me. I misspelled simple words and could not organize my thoughts. I lacked fluency and reading beyond the prescribed schoolwork provided no enlightenment. In junior year, I experienced a full mental breakdown and had to pause my journey in the IB program.

My university experience followed suit—I couldn’t perform academically. In residence I thought that the school was watching me. At night, disruptive noises interrupted my sleep and getting up early to attend classes on time was difficult. I couldn’t focus on my studies. I missed lectures and did poorly on tests. In the second year, my academic performance completely lapsed. I had almost no other choice than to withdraw from the university program.

It was during the break that my mother began to suspect mental illness and therefore reached out to St. Joseph’s for medical support. Through regular appointments, I learned how to challenge my thinking habits in favor of logical and objective thoughts. Interacting with medical staff renewed my awareness of the flaws in my judgment and interest in a gradual return to school. Through detailed support from St. Joseph’s, I was able to join the Industrial Millwright program at Mohawk College. The academic support at the college allowed me to graduate from the program with honors and find rewarding work in the community. 

Mental illness almost obscured my dream of completing college. Battling schizophrenia in high school and university caused my dream to pursue physics to fade. A decisive medical diagnosis provided the critical mental health support I needed to pursue physics in the millwright trade.

The reference artwork